By Darine Ammache, Clinical Psychologist
Understanding Mental Health in Conflict Zones from a Psychotherapist’s View
Living through war is terrifying, especially for civilians. In places like Lebanon, the entire country might not be in constant conflict, but certain regions face the ongoing threat of violence. People can be woken up by bombings, feel the vibrations of explosions, and live with a constant sense of fear and uncertainty. This kind of stress takes a toll on mental health, but it affects everyone differently.
The Varying Tolerance for Trauma
Not everyone reacts the same way to the trauma of war. Some people might feel overwhelmed by fear and anxiety, while others, especially those who have grown up with conflict, might seem to handle it better. In Lebanon, for example, many have lived through multiple wars, like the Israeli conflict or the Lebanese Civil War. That history can shape how people cope today.
Even if two people have been through the same events, their responses can vary. Some might develop PTSD, while others might not. It’s important to remember that there’s no “right” way to react to trauma and comparing people’s experiences isn’t helpful.
Validating Individual Responses to Conflict
As a therapist, my main message is this: however you feel is valid. People often try to comfort each other by saying things like, “Don’t be so stressed,” or “Others have it worse.” But while these comments are meant to help, they often make people feel dismissed.
Everyone processes trauma differently. Some people might feel constant anxiety and fear from the sound of bombs, while others might seem calm. Both reactions are normal. How you feel is shaped by your past, your experiences, and your emotional makeup.
The Danger of External Advice
When crisis strikes, well-meaning friends and family often offer advice. But no one knows your mental state better than you do. Your loved ones might not fully understand the depth of your emotions, and that’s okay. In these moments, it’s important to trust your instincts over others’ opinions. After all, you’re the one who will live with the consequences of your choices, whether you decide to stay or leave.
I’d also advise against giving unsolicited advice to someone living in a war zone. People need the space to make decisions that feel right for them. Whether it’s staying in a dangerous area or leaving for safety, those choices should be made by the individual.
How to Support Someone in a War Zone
If you want to support a loved one who’s experiencing the trauma of war, here’s how you can help:
- Listen, Don’t Fix: Just being there to listen can be more powerful than offering solutions. Let them express their feelings without judgment.
- Validate Their Feelings: Acknowledge their emotions as real and understandable. Saying “I know this must be really hard for you” is much more helpful than “Don’t worry, things will get better.”
- Encourage Self-Care: Gently remind them to take care of themselves, even if it’s something small like deep breathing or talking to a therapist.
- Don’t Compare: Avoid comparing how they’re handling things to others. Every person’s response is unique and valid.
Taking Care of Yourself During Conflict
If you’re living in a conflict zone, taking care of your mental health is essential. Here are a few tips:
- Acknowledge Your Feelings: Whatever you’re feeling—fear, anxiety, numbness—is normal. Don’t push those feelings away; accept them as part of what’s happening.
- Limit News Consumption: Constant updates can raise anxiety. Try to limit how much news you’re consuming to avoid feeling overwhelmed.
- Stick to Routines: When everything feels chaotic, a simple routine can provide a sense of stability. Even if it’s hard, try to push yourself to do something small and familiar.
- Stay Connected: Reach out to supportive friends, family, or mental health professionals. Talk about your fears and avoid toxic or negative people.
- Trust Your Decisions: Whether you stay or leave, make sure the decision feels right for you. Trust your gut—it’s your life and your choice.
In the end, war affects everyone differently, and there’s no one “correct” way to react. The key is to respect each person’s emotions and give them the space to make decisions that feel right for them. Listening and understanding can go a long way in helping those going through such a difficult time.