by Darine Ammache, Clinical Psychologist
Why Purpose Isn’t a Big Life Mission (And Why We Still Need It)
As a clinical psychologist, one thing I see again and again is this quiet question people carry: “What’s the point?”
Not in a dramatic, philosophical way but in everyday moments. When motivation is low. When life feels heavy. When getting out of bed feels harder than it should.
Some link purpose with this grand calling or changing the world. But it’s actually so much simpler, and much more human than that. At its core, purpose is the feeling that you matter, that something or someone would notice if you didn’t show up.
Sometimes purpose is the reason you wake up early to walk your dog.
Sometimes it’s being the friend who always checks in.
Sometimes it’s knowing that a small task needs you.
And that matters more than we think.
When Purpose Goes Quiet
When people struggle with anxiety, depression, or a lingering sense of emptiness, it’s often not because something is “wrong” with them. More often, it’s because they’ve lost touch with what makes their days feel meaningful.
Life can slowly disconnect us from that. Burnout. Loss. Transitions. Repetition. Even success can do it. We keep going, but something feels flat. Directionless.
And the absence of purpose doesn’t always feel dramatic.
It often feels like:
- “I’m tired all the time.”
- “Nothing excites me anymore.”
- “I don’t really care if this works out.”
That numbness is important information. It’s a signal.
What the Elderly Teach Us About Purpose
This becomes especially clear when we look at older adults. Retirement, physical limitations, losing loved ones — all of these can slowly take away roles that once gave structure and meaning.
Many elderly people don’t struggle because of age itself, but because they no longer feel needed. When no one relies on you, when your days feel interchangeable, life can lose its color.
But when purpose is reintroduced through caring for someone, mentoring, routines, hobbies, or even small responsibilities, something shifts. Mood improves. Engagement returns. The spark comes back.
Purpose keeps us psychologically alive.
Your Brain Actually Needs Purpose
This isn’t just emotional. It’s actually also biological.
When we move toward something meaningful, our brain releases dopamine. Not just when we succeed, but when we anticipate progress. Purpose gives the brain something to aim for.
It also helps with focus, decision-making, and emotional regulation. When life has direction, even loosely, the mind feels less scattered. Stress becomes more tolerable. Difficult days feel survivable because there’s a reason to keep going.
People with a sense of purpose also tend to handle stress better and experience better long-term health. Not because life is easier but because meaning changes how we carry difficulty.
Purpose Can Be Built
Purpose isn’t something you suddenly “discover.” It’s something you create, slowly, and it can change over time.
Some gentle ways to reconnect with it:
- Ask yourself what actually matters to you, not what should
- Notice what makes you feel slightly more alive, even if it’s small.
- Set goals that feel meaningful, not impressive.
- Contribute where you can to people, ideas, or moments.
- Allow your purpose to evolve as you do.
There is no final version of purpose. And that’s okay.
In the end, purpose is about having a reason to stay engaged with it.
And sometimes, that reason can be as simple as knowing that your presence still makes a difference even in ways you don’t always see.