“Don’t cry.”
“Be strong.”
“Man up.”
I hear these phrases over and over from my dad, my coaches, and even my friends. Everywhere I turn, it feels like being a boy comes with this invisible rulebook, and the first rule is: hide anything that looks like weakness.
But to be honest, I don’t feel strong. I feel scared sometimes. I feel sad sometimes. I feel everything that I’m not supposed to feel. And when I try to talk about it, I get blank stares, jokes, or a quick, “Don’t worry about it, you’ll be fine.”
It makes me wonder… is this what being a man is supposed to be? Always holding it together? Never showing doubt? Never asking for help? Because right now, it just feels lonely.
Sometimes I catch myself thinking: maybe everyone else is doing fine, and I’m the only one who feels like this. But deep down, I know that can’t be true. I see the same masks on my friends, my teachers, even the older guys I look up to. We’re all pretending, and it’s exhausting.
And that might be the issue. Maybe being a man isn’t about hiding your feelings or pushing through pain. Maybe it’s about learning how to be real, how to face what you feel without being ashamed. Maybe it’s about being brave enough to say, I need help, even if everyone else thinks that’s weakness.
I am at a phase where I’m starting to understand:
Talking about your feelings doesn’t make you less of a man.
Feeling things doesn’t make you weak. And asking for help?
That might just be the strongest thing you can do.