By Darine Ammache, Clinical Psychologist
Modern Dating: Too Many Fish, Not Enough Love
As a therapist working closely with individuals and couples, I see firsthand how modern dating is both exciting and exhausting. You’d think having a million options would make it easier to find love, but somehow, it’s doing the exact opposite. Instead of deep, meaningful connections, we’re stuck in an endless cycle of swiping, ghosting, and wondering if we should settle down or hold out for something better.
The Illusion of Infinite Choices
Dating apps were supposed to help us find “the one,” but all they’ve done is create decision paralysis. With every swipe, we wonder, What if there’s someone better just one profile away? It’s like standing in front of a buffet with too many options—you end up with an overloaded plate but nothing truly satisfying. The fear of missing out (FOMO) on the “perfect” partner keeps us from appreciating the amazing people we already meet.
The Open Relationship Trend
Monogamy isn’t the only game in town anymore. Open relationships are becoming more mainstream, and while they work for some, others use them as a way to avoid commitment. It’s like keeping one foot out the door—just in case. Personal freedom is great, but at what point does the fear of emotional attachment start holding us back from something real?
Breaking Up Is Too Easy
Back in the day, couples worked through their problems because options were limited. Now? One fight, and it’s, Bye, I’ll just redownload Tinder. We’ve become so used to instant gratification that the moment something gets tough, we bounce. Relationships require work, patience, and resilience, but when a sea of potential partners is just a tap away, commitment starts to feel like a hassle instead of a choice.
Social Media’s Unrealistic Expectations
If you’ve ever compared your relationship to an influencer’s perfectly curated Instagram love story, you’re not alone. Social media has set the bar unrealistically high—romantic dates, perfect selfies, #CoupleGoals. But real relationships aren’t just vacations and matching outfits. They’re also messy, awkward, and sometimes frustrating. The problem? We rarely see that side online, which makes our own relationships feel like they’re missing something.
The Dating Scene in Lebanon: More Women, Fewer Men
Lebanon’s dating scene comes with its own set of challenges. Years of war have led to a higher number of women than men, making the dating pool even trickier. Add to that the cultural pressure on women to maintain impossible beauty standards while men get a free pass, and you’ve got a recipe for superficial connections.
Many men prioritize looks over emotional and intellectual compatibility, while women feel pressured to meet unrealistic beauty expectations just to “compete.” It’s a vicious cycle where deep connections take a backseat to fleeting attraction.
The Instant Gratification Trap
We live in a world where everything is instant—food, entertainment, shopping—so why wouldn’t dating be the same? The problem is that real love doesn’t work like Amazon Prime. It takes time, effort, and a whole lot of patience. But with so many quick and easy distractions, we’ve lost the ability to sit with discomfort and work through challenges. The second a relationship isn’t perfect, we’re out.
How to Find Something Real
If you’re tired of the dating hamster wheel and want something more meaningful, here’s the game plan:
- Go beyond surface-level attraction and actually get to know people on a deeper level.
- No relationship is perfect. The key is working through challenges instead of constantly looking for something “better.”
- Less scrolling, more real-life interactions. Stop comparing your love life to Instagram.
- Figure out what really matters to you instead of chasing trends.
- Honest, open conversations are the secret sauce to any lasting relationship.
At the end of the day, the real challenge isn’t finding someone—we have more access to potential partners than ever before. The challenge is choosing to stay, nurture, and grow a relationship in a world full of distractions. Love isn’t about keeping your options open—it’s about making a choice and sticking with it.