by Carmen Hamady, Clinical Psychologist and Psychotherapist
“Sometimes I cry, and I don’t know why. It feels like I’m grieving a memory that was never mine.”
If that line resonates with you, you’re not alone.
In my work as a psychologist in Lebanon, I’ve sat with countless people who carry pain they can’t quite name. Young adults who flinch at loud noises. Children who panic during power cuts. Parents who parent with fear instead of freedom.
What they’re experiencing isn’t always personal trauma. It’s generational trauma—a wound passed from one generation to the next. A wound we don’t always see, but one we deeply feel.
What Is Generational Trauma?
Generational trauma (also known as transgenerational or intergenerational trauma) happens when the psychological impact of traumatic events is passed down through behaviors, emotions, family dynamics, and even biology.
In Lebanon, trauma is not a distant memory. It’s a shared experience that continues to shape our lives.
We’ve lived through civil war, invasions, assassinations, displacement, poverty, and explosions that shattered cities and souls. But many of us weren’t allowed to talk about what we saw or what our families lived through.
So the silence grew louder. And that silence became a language we passed on.
“It Didn’t Happen to Me, But I Feel It”
You may have never witnessed a massacre, but your father did.
You may never have gone hungry, but your grandmother did.
You may have never held your breath at a checkpoint, but your mother still does.
Trauma doesn’t end when the violence stops. It lingers in our nervous systems. It shows up in the way we argue, in the way we shut down, in how we parent our children or fear for their future.
Even science agrees: trauma can impact gene expression. It can be inherited. But here’s the truth: we can inherit healing too.
How Does This Show Up in Our Lives?
- Overprotective parenting rooted in fear, not freedom.
- Emotional detachment from parents who never learned to name their own feelings.
- Hyper-vigilance, always expecting the worst.
- Survivor’s guilt, even if you weren’t there when it happened.
- A deep mistrust of institutions, relationships, or even joy.
You might wonder: Why can’t I relax? Why do I feel stuck? Why does love feel dangerous?
The answer may lie in what was never said, never processed, never healed.
Naming It Is the Beginning
Healing generational trauma begins with awareness.
When we name it, we take away its power. When we talk about it, we make space for something new.
Therapies like Common Elements Treatment Approach (CETA), Narrative Exposure Therapy (NET), and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) have helped many of my clients in Lebanon rewrite their emotional stories. They learn to place their pain in context—not as personal failure, but as part of a larger, inherited survival strategy.
We don’t blame our families. We understand them. And then we gently choose a different path.
Breaking the Cycle
To anyone reading this and feeling overwhelmed:
You are not broken.
You are not overreacting.
You are responding to generations of pain that were never given a voice.
But you have a choice.
You can say what was never said.
You can love in ways your parents couldn’t.
You can rest where your grandparents were forced to flee.
You can imagine a future that doesn’t carry the same fear.
The good news is that you don’t have to carry your pain in silence. You can reach out to a licensed clinical psychologist at Mindsome App (https://mindsome.app/) and start your healing journey today.